We Forget Who We Really Are Beneath Our Illness

We forget who we really are beneath our illness… often only seeing the ugliness that our illness imparts on our very being. When I look into the mirror, I don’t think, “Wow, I look great today.” or “I really am as beautiful as I’ve been told.” Haha. No, not even close! Those thoughts have never crossed my mind, nor, of course, my lips. But there was a time in my life that people only viewed me from the outside, rarely taking a moment to find out whom I may truly be on the inside. Only commenting on my looks since they’ve judged the cover and merely peeked at the pages in between. Leaving me to go the full distance to show them the “MJ” in whole. That’s not entirely different from now, I guess… only they can not see my illness (no matter the detail I’ve given); simply the cover (which is our shield) my “Smile.” We can’t help ourselves. When we’re around others, we hide behind it as quickly as possible.
It’s quite the opposite of what we see in the mirror. The pages are always carelessly spilling out from underneath, reflecting our pain, cognitive issues, and sleepless nights… We no longer see our “cover.” And if you’re anything like me? You’ve discussed Fibro and all of its counterparts until you’re without breath! So all others see now is a Big Purple Fibro Ribbon waking around. Seriously! In my effort to spread awareness, my friends, and most notably my improv family (because I see them regularly on Monday’s and during monthly shows), usually refer to me in relation to Fibro. It’s all in good fun, mind you, and I don’t find it unsavory at all. But I’ve become cognizant of the possibility that maybe, just maybe… people are not seeing the strong, intelligent, compliment, appreciating woman that’s carrying that heavy ass ribbon around!
My Love tells me how proud he is of me, how my blogs are impressive (yes, I’m aware he could be embellishing a bit *blush*), and that I’m beautiful; even though on most days I’m sans make-up. All of the love and support is immeasurably appreciated. He is the one that champions me to show my sexy side, only I’ve forgotten what that is? I cover up more often than not, for sun safety, of course, but also to be taken more seriously, and not seen for only my curves. Fibro is serious business. But in accomplishing all of that, “Am I sending the wrong message?” That our bodies are meant to be hidden and not appreciated, and what we are to perceive as beautiful, is the airbrushed, picture perfect models on magazine covers, and the fit actors on popular tv/movies. That our intelligence is written down in scripts for us to simply parrot back as if it’s our own, or that our strength is merely perceived as an illusion, while we lift those paper mΓ’chΓ© boulders over our heads. Our society is improving however, as we are beginning to see more and more… the curvy, clever, and wonderfully empowered people that deserve to be complimented and appreciated as well.
So here I am… in a bikini pic My Love took (below). I’m in the shade, of course (diag. w/skin cancer 5yrs ago), exposing myself a bit more than usual. I am not perfect, but I am me! Loved just the way I am. So please embrace yourselves, and don’t allow Fibro to define you! Show off your attributes! I’d share an MRI picture of my brain instead, but that might get lost in translation, hee hee.
All of us! Man, woman, and child… have brains, braun, and beauty. We are empathetic, worthy, humorous, involved, useful, productive, creative, generous, supportive, listeners, kind, loving, independence, strength, and togetherness. We are a lovely mosaic of warriors that have been broken, yet were able to create a more resilient bond that only we can comprehend.
A special “Thank you” goes out to my Fibro Warrior friends for responding to my DF post and sharing your attributes with me! Linda S., Tina H., Rachel W., Phroncheska T., Maribeth R., Charlotte B., Tricia W., Christine K., Julie W., Mitzi M.B., Nancy S., Marla L., Debbie J.D., and Shannon K. Apologies if I missed anyone 😊
Thank you all for your love and support!
You are not alone… and neither am I!
Me vs the “perfect” model/actor

Author: FIBRO WARRIOR, My New Normal

Hello, I'm MJ the purple haired Fibro Warrior. I am a Podcast Host, Facebook Admin, Blogger, and Vlogger for 'FIBRO WARRIOR, My New Normal' My producers and I are here to help spread Fibromyalgia Awareness and information to you, as well as to those around us. I have had Fibromyalgia nearly my entire life, so I have a lot to share and say on the subject. Please join me in this journey, by allowing me to share your journeys, and simply by following, reading, liking and sharing my blogs/podcasts/vlogs so that we may reach others as well. All of which can be found on our Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/FIBROWarriorMNN/ You are not alone... and neither am I! Love you all πŸ’œπŸ’‹MJ

15 thoughts on “We Forget Who We Really Are Beneath Our Illness”

  1. You are beautiful inside and out! You are just as pleasing to the eyes as the model in the picture if not more because you are “real”. I guess being online we get to know the person without seeing them. Its good in a way because we learn the heart of the person we are getting to know. Don’t change for anyone…you are an amazing woman…you inspire me to be more..

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Aww Shannon, you’re are so wonderful. Thank you! I agree, getting to know someone for what is on the inside, far outweighs seeing what’s on the outside first. It has been truly a pleasure getting to know you, my sweet friend. Love and hugs πŸ’œπŸ’‹ MJ


  2. Wow! I have never worn a bikini in my life! (Wait, one picture when I was about 3 in a bikini.) You did good! I believe the knife cuts both ways beauty vs. brains. I remember dying my hair brown when I first started applying for ‘real’ jobs as I wanted to be taken seriously. Seeing people and all the gifts they have to offer is the real quest, isn’t it? Loved the post, MJ. ~k.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. My husband tells me I’m beautiful every day, even when I look like a hobo. Fibromyalgia is a real bitch. I’m happy you have someone who loves you and encourages you. ❀

    Liked by 1 person

      1. I know a few who feel utterly alone. I like your blog, because your words and experiences are inspirational. Keep up the good work. ❀ Love and hugs back at you.
        Kindra 😊

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Have you already done so in one of your blogs, our would you like to submit your journey with Fibro for me to share on one of my podcasts? I love to at least share one of your favorite poems you’ve written at least, if not. 😍


      1. I have written about Fibro. I usually do so with humor. But I would love to submit something for you to share. Fibromyalgia remains misunderstood, and it’s become a passion of mine to advocate for those who live with this illness. What’s the best way for me to contact you?

        Liked by 1 person

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